As we age, we change. I think we can all agree on this. Our bodies change, our friends change, our understanding of things change, our hopes change, our needs change, our outlooks change, our beliefs change, and so much more.
When I was younger, I was someone that liked hanging out with others. I liked talking with others. I liked going to parties. I liked going to movies with friends. I liked being around people. I was never the life of the party, nor was I the one planning the party. But I was usually one who was at the party. I had lots of “friends” (not all close, but I knew a lot of people and they knew me).
But as I have gotten older, I find myself not being that way anymore. I don’t want to hang out with the large groups. I don’t want to talk to everyone and learn about how everyone is doing. I am more than fine being on my own. I like being with my family only. I don’t seek activities with others.
And this has gotten me to wonder – am I now an introvert or am I just getting old or is it something else. The getting old one comes from the fact that I found a lot of people I have known over my life seem to have less and less people they want to interact with as they age. Maybe this is wrong, but it has been my experience. I am sure there are people out there that have gone the other direction, and I can think of a few, but the majority of older people I have known tend to close in rather than reach out as they age.
I do think I have become more introverted. I think it started when kids entered my life. Life got busier and as a result I didn’t have time to do other things with people. Then I got a full-time job as well around the time my second daughter was born and then there was less time in my life for activities that would have had me engaging with others. Not that I blame my kids at all. I love them and I love being with them. But I think it allowed me to close in on myself and my family. I have no desire to reach out to others since I have a great family to lean on and talk with.
I have written before about how I don’t really have any friends at the moment, and I haven’t for a while. And I feel fine with that. Is that my introvertedness? Yes, I think it is. Is it healthy, probably not. I should try and get to know people. I just have no desire to. Just this weekend there was a men’s camping trip with the church we are attending. My wife said I should go. I said, “I don’t want to.” I don’t like camping really, and my brother is in town during and I wanted to see him and his family. So, that made the decision really easy. But I also just didn’t want to go since I didn’t know anyone, and I didn’t have the desire to get to know anyone. I was sure that if I went people would want to talk and get to know each other, and I just didn’t feel that desire to do it. I am sure if I went that I would have talked some, but mostly I would have listened and kept to myself. I realize that by not doing an event like this I limit myself in getting to know people, and that could be a good thing. Maybe there would have been someone there that I had something in common with and we could have “bonded” over that, but I don’t care to do that for some reason.
I also have recently looked at the things I enjoy doing and a lot of them are single activities: writing this blog, listening to music, going for bicycle rides, large format photography, working on my car/motorcycle. Now I realize some of those could be group activities, but I enjoy doing them on my own. There is peace there. They are times for me to decompress from the activities of day-to-day life. And one is my daily exercise as well and I do it when I can during the day (usually early morning). I don’t want to be in a book club, or a bicycle club, or a photography club, or a car club. Those things hold no desire for me. Honestly, they sound somewhat boring (except the bicycle club, but I don’t think of myself as a committed enough cyclist to join a club).
I don’t dislike people. I like people, and I like talking with people sometimes. But as I age I have found that I like talking with people less and less. I want to get things done and move on.
Then again, maybe it is something else. What do you readers think?