Pronouns and Jesus

He/Him/Sir

She/Her/Madam

They/Them

Here in the United States of America the concept of using someone’s “preferred” pronoun is something that can be a nonissue for some and a big issue for others. I don’t know what it is like in other countries, but I know that here, depending on where you live/work/school/be active, this has become a “hot topic” issue.

I was at my weekly Bible study the other night and one of the questions we discussed was about what convictions we, as Christians, need to hold to in the world we are living in today. There wasn’t much discussion about this question (we cover a lot of questions each week), but one of the people, in their list off things, was holding to the preferred pronoun of one’s birth. I was surprised in one way, but not in other ways. This came from someone that homeschools their kids because public school is teaching bad things, they don’t do Halloween because it celebrates Satan, and that not voting Republican is a crime against the church (I have not quoted the person exactly on those things, but that is the gist of it). I was surprised because I don’t think I have ever thought specifically about how preferred pronouns is lending itself to the degrading of society.

The next morning my wife, who was also at the Bible study, mentioned this comment as well to me, and we started talking a little about it. These questions came up:

• What would Jesus do with someone that wanted to use a different pronoun than the one they were born to?
• How would Jesus treat that person?
• Would Jesus use the preferred pronoun?

That got me thinking about those questions, and so I decided the think on it and write on it.

The second one is easy for me; Jesus would treat that person with Love. He loves all, and would therefore treat that person with love. I mean He did died for everyone’s sins after all. That love would be evident in what He said, and what he did toward that person and anyone in the vicinity to hear what he was saying to that person (or people).

As for the first question of what would Jesus do with a person that wanted a different pronoun used; I think that one is trickier. I am sure what I am about to write will have some people agreeing and some people disagreeing with me. But that is fine. Here is a possible encounter Jesus may could have had with a person (Let’s assume the person was born a male for the following example)

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I picture Jesus approaching the person, maybe in a crowd or along the sea, and say something like, “Hello sir. How are you doing today?”

The person then replies, “Hello, please call me madam.”

Jesus looks at the person and say (maybe with a small smile), “I’m sorry, I don’t understand, your are “Bob Smith” are you not?” (since He knows all, He knows the person’s birth name).

The person then looks at Jesus surprised but replies, “No, I am not I am Barbara Smith.”

Jesus, “Really? Ok, I am sorry, I must be mistaken, but I am sure that you are, or were Bob Smith. What has changed?”

Then Bob/Barbara, not feeling hatred or disgust from Jesus but love and care, proceeds to explain to Jesus about how their life was growing up and how they always felt out of place and didn’t fit in. How they only felt “right” when acting/being a female rather than a male. As a result they started dressing, acting, and being female. Therefore they now thought of themselves as female and therefore wanted everyone to call them by her/she/madam pronouns.

This entire time Jesus just listened to Bob/Barbara. He knows what they have gone through. He has felt their pain, and can hear it in their words. But He also knows that Bob was born a male and that He wanted it that way. So, He looks into Bob/Barbara’s eyes and say, “I knit you together in your mother’s womb that way I wanted you to be. I knew you before the foundations of the world. I made you that way, not this way.” Jesus is hoping that Bob/Barbara will realize that Jesus, being God, wants him to be who He was made to be not someone else, but Jesus loves him regardless.

Bob/Barbara looks at Jesus and says, “But I am Barbara and that is who I will always be. Please refer to me in that way, this is the life I am choosing to live.”

I think at this Jesus is saddened, but He still loves this person, and I believe that He will respect this person’s choices even though He knows they aren’t correct.

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As for the third question; I think Jesus would use the person’s preferred pronoun, but only after talking with the person. I think that if possible Jesus would continue to get to know this person and build a relationship with them. All the while, He would continue to educate the person on what it means to be a child of God. Through it all I believe He would respect the person’s wishes about pronouns, but wouldn’t shy away from making it clear that God made people in the way He wanted them to be from birth, and that people can choose to walk away from that direction God made them for, but that they can always return to Him at any time.

I happen to have issue with some of the preferred pronoun stuff. I don’t understand the them/they, I think you should just pick one. You aren’t both. You can say you like men and women and others, but the point is you are still just one or the other. You can’t be both. I know that I have had students over the years that have preferred pronouns preferences that clearly don’t match their birth pronoun. I have tried to respect their choice, but I freely admit to making mistakes as well. I may not agree with their choices, but as long as they aren’t a part of the family of God I have no real right to judge them in that manner. If they claim to be a part of the family of God then maybe a conversation needs to happen, but those aren’t the people I am talking about here. I am talking about how “Christians” want to hate on non-Christians for not holding to Bible based teaching of what it means to be a man or woman. Jesus didn’t do that, He loved on people and tried to direct them to God’s ways. It worked sometimes and it didn’t work at other times, but in all those cases Jesus still loved them.

I don’t think preferred pronouns are the end of the world. I think if we allow it into the Church we run into issues with Scripture, and as a result we need to combat it inside the church, but in our worldly encounters we need to love and respect others, and that may mean calling them by pronouns that we don’t think fit them. But we are not to judge, God is the one who judges. So, respect each other.